Blogelstein!

I arranged for you to be invited to a party. When I got there, you were already there, with your ex-husband Nirpal, not talking to anyone. So I introduced you to everyone.

‘There’s no one attractive here,’ you complained, as your eyes swivelled. Many of the people I enjoy most in the whole world were in that room. I glimpsed someone tall, dark and handsome lounging, glass in hand.

It was Willie Harcourt-Cooze, chocolate-maker and TV presenter. ‘He’s attractive,’ I protested. ‘There. Leaning against the pistachio-coloured Aga.’